Start within yourself

Start within yourself I just watched a J-Cole interview that really got me thinking (as an individual that is continuously immersing herself in information concerning the ostracization of certain demographics within the global society).

What demographic? Black People!

As a black African, this is something that affects me personally, I am able to put my self in the shoes of individuals like Sandra Bland and imagine the horror of being victimised by a system that is meant to protect you.

Other times, all I have to do is remain in my own shoes… Going back home to Nigeria is always a rollercoaster of emotions for me, the simultaneous antagonistic feelings of joy and despair. Don’t get me wrong, I love Nigeria but going back home you remember how messed up many systems are. It is so easy for me to blame it all on the government, but truthfully, I deserve to feel some guilt on this issue as well. I haven’t really gone out of my comfort zone to be the change that I want to see in Nigeria… or anywhere else for that matter. Many of us haven’t and it’s not our fault – it just isn’t human nature to look within for the mistake. When something goes wrong we always check the environment around it and rarely the interior of what ever it may be (except if its like a watch – lets be serious).

So today, I made a conscious decision to look within, accept my faults then start making changes towards progress. I believe that this is a process that will require a lot of time, energy and devotion. I have to want to see my flaws – I find this difficult. Can you blame me? Don’t you ever wonder how a total understanding of who you truly are may change you? How can I be sure that this change will be positive? The truth is, I can’t. It’s almost like that quote that we’ve all seen at least twice on some random social media site – taking the first step without being able to see the whole stairway? Yes, that one! It truly epitomises this moment in my life…

Hopefully this will seem more like me confiding in you rather than a transcript from my journal …

This entry was published on 03/05/2016 at 11:47 pm. It’s filed under Conversations With A Porter - complex ideas, simple words and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

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